It is easy to turn back to what’s familiar when we face difficulty. When I graduated from college with a degree in Sociology and a minor in Political Science, I had no desire to go into Mass Retail Management. However, I needed a graduate degree to go into the humanities. Circumstances did not allow me to continue my education. Loans were not easily available as they are now.

It is not always easy to change career paths. In my nineteen years I tried many times to find a job that got me out of retail management and get a job that paid almost as much as I was making. However, there were no jobs that paid similar except other retail jobs. With a wife and two teenagers, I could not afford a pay cut.

I had to hit rock bottom with the present job and find other retail jobs in order to break free. With this feeling of hopelessness, I was able to make the decision that I wanted to make for years without being afraid. Any decision would have been an improvement. This gave me the encouragement to attend graduate school.

After finishing graduate school and moving to another state, I found myself looking for another job. I was looking for jobs that were commensurate with the education that I had acquired previously and not my job experiences. I did not want to go back into retail management. With the children graduating from high school and on their own, we were able to get by with less money.

You guessed it. I ended up in retail but less responsibility. One day while on a lunch break, I picked up a magazine and read an article about a lost soul who became a substitute teacher while he was finding himself. It inspired me to do the same. I still worked part time in retail but now in education too. In the end Special Education won.

When the Israelites felt the distress of an upcoming Assyrian attack, they crawled back to the Egyptians their former slave masters for help (Isaiah 30:1-5). God predicted that this would be disastrous, but He continued to care for them although they made the wrong choice. Isaiah voiced God’s heart: “The Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore, He will rise up to show you compassion” (v.18).

This is God’s attitude toward us, even when we choose to look elsewhere to numb our pain. He wants to help us. He does not want us to hurt ourselves with habits that create bondage. Short term gratification snares the lot of us. God wants to provide authentic healing as we walk closely with him.

It is my prayer that you do not take as long as I did to learn. He can fix what is broken in your life. “He is the fairest of ten thousand, He is the altogether lovely One.”

One of the greatest gifts I have received from the Lord has been that of a teacher. A role that I never thought I would play. Many teachers I have talked to over the years told me that they knew they would become a teacher from the time they were five or six years old.

Not me. I wanted no part of it. James 3:1 says, “Not any of you should become teachers, my fellow believer, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.” Teaching is a necessary and valuable part of life. We come into this world ignorant, and we must be taught: language proficiency, motor skills, cultural norms, social customs, manners, moral values, and a host of other things.

Since teaching is a key element in acquiring information and developing knowledge, it is no wonder that the Bible has so much to say about teaching. Teaching is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said that the logical end of effective teaching is that the pupil becomes like his/her teacher.

To really appreciate teaching, I believe it has to be a calling. Why, because you are never going to get paid enough to go through the grief and toils that today’s teacher has to endure. It is not an eight-hour job where you punch in at a certain time and go home when you are supposed to, and start afresh the next day.

Many would say that it is a thankless job where you are merely going through a ritual hoping that you will last until the school year ends, and you get a contract for the next year and so on until you either get fired or fed up and quit.  

One of the greatest gifts I received while fulfilling the role of a teacher was not a monetary gift. It was from one of my students who stayed in trouble all of the time at school and at home. He once emptied his mother’s checking account.  Many days my soul was tried.

At the end of the first semester around the time when students were getting ready to go home for a long break and enjoy being away from school, he gave me an envelope with a greeting card that was hand made.

On the card was a cartoon and the words scribbled at the bottom that said, “I know I was terrible. Thank you for your compashion (compassion).”

When I was teaching, I constantly taught my students to always consider mercy and judgment in dealing with each other. Why, because we (myself included) constantly make mistakes. We each played a role in how the lack of classroom behavior rules affected us all. I could not accomplish my job as required, and they could not focus as needed to learn with all of the distractions.

The way we accomplished this was to go over the school rules from day one. These rules were discussed in detail and a discipline test was given. Each student had to acquire a 100% score. Both verbally and in writing. This took care of those who may have had reading deficits, language issues, and different parenting.  

Each morning we looked at the rules on the wall and repeated them out loud. Despite doing this there were still infractions.  Why, because of the feeling that the rules did not apply because of certain circumstance that someone felt that it was justified. They included the following statements.

It was not my fault. They did it to me first. I did not think about that. I did not feel good. You did not see what they did to me. The rules are too strict. Can I have another chance. I don’t care. I am going to tell my mother. All but the last one sounds like the same excuses adults make. Except “I am going to call my attorney.”

Except for fighting, or other altercations that the school district determined to be out of the teacher’s control, we might have a discussion to determine what the consequences should be. I would ask each student what they thought the consequence should be. Each would suggest swift punishment for the infraction.

I would then discuss with them the fact that when the next person was found to have done the same thing, I would have no choice but to give them the same consequence. To my expectation each student would lament how unfair the sentence seemed to them—despite having deemed it appropriate when it was intended for the other.

They were showing the kind of judgment without mercy that God warns against.  James reminds us that instead of showing favoritism to the wealthy/others, or even to one’s self, God desires that we love others as we love ourselves. Instead of using others for selfish gain, or disregarding anyone whose position that does not benefit us.

James instructs us to act as people who know how much we’ve been given and forgiven— and extend that mercy to others. Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be sown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13).

Have you ever met someone or know someone, in your mind, that never does any good or never thinks of anyone but themselves? Sure, they say the right things and appear to do the right things, but deep down it is just a façade. In today’s society that seems to be acceptable, and we praise those who do.

If you have never worked with children in a real special way, you have no idea that the adult that you see or deal with was once a child. They did not just wake up at age fifty and decided to be that way. It started a long time ago. Mother or father may not have caught it. There was no grandfather or grandmother to catch it. The village that was supposed to act as a buffer was too busy.

However, our Creator says that we have to deliberately try to find that moment to address it. “They are just different” is not acceptable.  Constant criticism is perhaps all they know.  Someone has to carefully catch them doing something right and applaud them for doing it. If not, they may never grasp the thought of change.

The scripture mentions someone like that; Manasseh, king of Judah. Second Chronicles 33 outlines some of his atrocities. Building sexually explicit altars to pagan gods, practicing witchcraft, and sacrificing his own children. He led the entire nation down this terrible path. The Lord spoke to Manasseh and his people, but they paid no attention.

Eventually, God got his attention. The Assyrians invaded, put a hook in his nose and took him to Babylon. Next, Manasseh finally did something right. He sought the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself. God heard him and restored him as king. Manasseh replaced the pagan practices with worship of the one true God. 

Perhaps you know someone like that. Liking or being happy with somebody involves agreeing with them. To love somebody is to feel affected by them and accepts them in all their strengths and shortcomings. You may have someone you love, but you may not love someone you like.

This last Father’s Day made me think back when my children were very young. I had not experienced childhood rivalry so I did not have a clue how small children perceived thing. I grew up as an only child. You had to mature really fast. I was mostly around adults.

My wife guided me through the process and I am both thankful and grateful that I did not become a complete failure. Our two children are carbon copies of the two of us. As different as night and day. Yet one like the opposite parent.

Our experiences came from different sources. One from living the life of childhood experiences and one from reading about how life should be. The lyrics of Paula Abdul is a great example:

“ Our friends are sayin’ we ain’t gonna last

                               ‘Cause I move slowly and baby, I’m fast

   I like it quiet and I love to shout

   But when we get together, it just all works out”

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

The above scripture has challenged the interpretation of many individuals and scholars as well. I see it in its simplest form. When you tell a child something they believe what you say. For example, if you tell them that you are gong to take them to the park, as far as they are concerned, they are there already.

It does not matter if it rains, storms, the car breaks down, or a nuclear fallout. You said that you were going to do something. They are thinking about the great time that they are going to have. Nothing else matters. Our Creator wants us to have that kind of faith.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 

The word season is defined as a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature. A suitable or natural time or occasion. An indefinite period of time. A period of the year characterized by or associated with a particular activity or phenomenon. We think of a whole divided by four.

Dr. Paul F. Schmidt, a psychologist life coach, talks about The Four Seasons of Love Before Marriage. “A problem in most relationships is that the partners are in two different seasons of readiness for love.” That I surmise is why you never see a 50/50 marriage.  That does not mean you are necessarily incompatible.

Ecclesiastes says that there’s a season for everything, and he gives a list of seven pairs of opposing things. Every pair he gives is a positive combined with a negative.

1.There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2.a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3.a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

4.a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5.a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6.a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7.a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak.

This is another analogy using seasons— relationships. All through school you were inseparable, including college. You both got married and for the first few years you communicated weekly. All of a sudden you both stopped and have not heard from each other in fifty years.

Dr. Marc Agronin M. D., a geriatric psychiatrist, says take the initiative. It is important for one party to step up first. Let it be you. “Especially if there has been a breach of years.” Say you miss them and that it is important.

On the other hand, he says that if you reach out and you do not hear from the other person do not badger. “Some people don’t want to reconnect.”

Although I turned seventy-six on 8 June, I am also sixty-six, fifty-six, forty-six, thirty-six, twenty-six, sixteen, and yes six. I used tens instead of ones. The post would have been too long had I used ones. Seventy-six, seventy-five, seventy-four, seventy-three, seventy-two, seventy-one, and seventy.  You get the idea.

In the story “Eleven”, Sandra Cisneros explains how a girl named Rachel turns eleven years old, yet she does not feel like she is eleven. Later on, she has a disagreement with her teacher about an ugly sweater and she wishes she was older so she could defend herself.

Rachel goes on to say that what people do not understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re seventy-six you’re also all of the ages all the way down to one. And when you wake up on your seventy sixth birthday you expect to feel seventy-six, but you don’t.

You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel seventy-six at all. You feel like you’re seventy-five. And you are –underneath the year that makes you seventy-six. There are many times that you might do or say things that others might think are stupid or immature for your actual age, but not to worry. You are acting like one of your younger ages.

The phrase “once a man, twice a child” is a saying that is often used to express the idea that people are never too old to learn new things or to change their way. It suggests that even when we are grown up and have achieved a certain level of maturity, we still have much to learn and can still grow and change.

The idea is always something new to discover and learn, and we should approach life with a sense of curiosity and openness.  I am a member of the “Lifetime Learner Club.” I strive to learn something new each day, even if it learning what not to do.

If it is your first, second, third, breakup, or if you have had more, they never get any easier. And although they hurt and leave you feeling like you want to die, they can be a blessing in disguise. No one likes changes as much as they pretend. We like comfort zones. We know it helps to change but we have gotten used to the other way.

There are lots of ways to overcome a breakup but choosing the right one is not always easy. Some people move, thinking that distance will give them peace and they can start over. Some get stuck and do not know what to do. Others refuse to accept it and try to change the other person’s mind. Whatever your cure, try to remember that this difficult time will pass

Heartbreak reminds us that not all life’s situations can be solved. Even when the body heals, emotional scars can still exist. With each heartbreak, we end up deeply changed. After some periods of mourning if we grieve fully and face our sadness there will come a time where we may wish to recover.

Research explains why the pain of heartbreak isn’t just in the mind. Falling in love can feel intense and often leaves people giddy and euphoric. But cutting that connection can trigger a rush of negative emotions that can feel physically painful.

But don’t give up. God does much with broken things. It was with broken promises of promotions of advancement in retail management, my wife getting hurt in the same, losing faith in myself that made me quit and go to graduate school. Where I not only left with a degree but a new me.

It was brokenness that made me stop running from the only one who could save me. God has promises for the broken hearted. “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” The good news is that no matter the source of your heartbreak, God can repair your wounds.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:17).

“Every good gift and every perfect gift are from above, coming down from the father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17).

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). Don’t give up. Don’t quit too soon. Blessings!