You hear it all of the time, “Patience is a virtue”, but what does it mean? A proverbial phrase that reminds the listener or reader about the societal and moral value of waiting to get what they want until a more convenient time. Some see it as a choice, only to be carefully taken.

The role of patience in our life isn’t exclusively individual. Being patient also helps you develop strong, healthy, long-lasting relationships. Your relationships with friends, family, and coworkers thrive when you practice patience. We may not be born into a perfect family, but we are stuck with them.

Patient people may also experience fewer negative emotions. That’s because with patience, you’re better equipped to deal with stressful and challenging moments in life. This helps your overall mental health and well-being.

Patient people may have an easier time being empathetic, kind, cooperative, and selfless. Being compassionate when others make mistakes helps create relationships where flaws are accepted. If you can’t change something, change how you feel about it.

However, it’s important to understand that patience isn’t transactional. When you are patient with a person, don’t expect them to do the same. Patience is about sustaining and bettering relationships — sometimes holding onto your own sanity.

Patience in the Bible is the ability to endure difficult people and situations without giving into anger or giving up hope. Because God continues to show us patience when we are doing disappointing things, we can show others patience when they disappoint us. 

“You also must be patient. Keep your hopes high, for the day of the Lord’s coming is near.” “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

“Also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts.

A fact is a thing that is known or proven to be true. However, in this case we are talking mostly about the person who is rambling on about whatever subject/subjects they are talking about, and the other person is just wanting them to get to the point quickly, so they can go on their way.

Some attribute the phrase to Joe Friday, the protagonist of the Dragnet radio and TV series. In his investigations as a police detective, he would run into eccentric, talkative, emotional people but he remained unflappable and tried to keep them from going off on tangents.

However, it’s often claimed that the actual phrase never came out of Friday’s mouth on Dragnet but instead derived from Stan Freberg’s parody record “St. George and the Dragonet.” Point taken.  

“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”, John Adams, in defense of British soldiers in the 1770 Boston Massacre.

Some ramblers enjoy the attention that comes from people listening to them. They could be attention hogs, or even people that just don’t get enough attention in general, and they can be trickier. When all else fails, you need to just avoid them. If at all possible. 

As a youngster growing up in South Georgia, I used to set my clock every day to listen to Paul Harvey. At his peak. He had about 22 million listeners on some 1,300 stations. I did not always understand what he was talking about or his views, but it was short and succinct.  

The bible has a few words about facts. “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

Today we have a tendency to blame technology for the majority of our communication problems. Why, because those having technical skills can sway millions of people of a narrative that may or may not be true in a matter of seconds.  And since the information is never really destroyed, someone can find it and keep it going long after the originators have gone on to another narrative.

Hearing is a sense. Listening is a skill. However, listening (not) has been the action of humans for as long as there has been written history. It has been demonstrated in the writings of poets and even scripture writers. We have a tendency to talk too much, too quickly, for whatever reason; more than we listen.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit there of” (Proverbs 18:21). The tongue can be used as a weapon to harm and destroy or as a tool to build and heal.  Today, we could add fingers (key strokes). Cunning, mean people have a tendency to use both tongue and fingers. 

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” This quote is attributed to Epictetus, a Greek philosopher who spent his youth as a slave in Rome before gaining freedom after the death of Nero, under whom he served until around 60 AD.” http://www.nordangliaedu nordangliaeducation.com.

“Understand this, my brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and,] slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man/woman does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us].” (James 1:19).

These scriptures have been very helpful for me. “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27). One of my principals reminded us that when we received an angry message from a parent, to answer it but do not send.

It has saved my marriage, friendships, and other relationships as well. I am reminded of an incident where a passenger was cursing out the porter at the bus station. When it was my turn, I asked the porter why he did not get angry. He replied, “he is going to Philadelphia, but his bags are going to Albuquerque. 

The new me would have tried to get him to go back, apologize, and give a large tip. We have to constantly remind ourselves that there are sometimes dire consequences for our negative behavior. It’s called Karma.

Proverbs 26:27 says “whoever digs a pit will fall in it, and a stone will come back on him/her who starts it rolling. “

Many of you, including me have made New Year’s Resolutions. Twelve days have pasted and you are already behind, and wishing that you had chosen another task. Why, because you got caught up in the moment and made a decision too quickly.  I am here to tell you that it is not too late to pick up where you left off, or change it to something within reach.

It took me many years before I was able to start writing. I felt like a failure at every year’s end because I had not done what I said I wanted to do. I wanted to write a book.  It did not dawn on me to do something else. Then one day I receive a phone call, during the pandemic, from one of my fellow Chaplains in the Civil Air Patrol (USAF Auxiliary).

I had finished a unit of CPE (Chaplains Pastoral Education) at one of the hospitals just before the pandemic.  During the pandemic, not even chaplains were allowed to be with the ill and dying patients. They had to do it remotely. One of the saddest times is when someone has been ill a long time, had lots of visitors, and dies alone. Sometimes the last visitors just left.

He told me how painful it was to not be able to physically spend time with the one he had loved so many years. So, he decided to write a blog in order to convey his feelings within himself and to others. This was the catalyst that pushed me to write a blog. It was a deviation, but you write books in parts, chapters, at different times.

“Our human tendency is to quit too soon. To stop before crossing the finished line. It shows up in the smallest of things—a partly cleaned room, a half-read book, or abandoned weight loss plan. Or it shows up in life’s most painful areas like a cold faith; a wrecked marriage, an un-evangelized world” Max Lucado.com.

 Sometimes you have to tweak your resolutions. The bible doesn’t teach quitting. James 5:11 says, “Behold, we count them happy which endure.” “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

It has been said that a teachable spirit is a key trait for success with God and men/women. Both King David and Solomon emphasized it. We are born ignorant, so we must be taught everything. Growth requires change, and change requires criticism and reformation.

When I started my blog, Blogging with Jerry in 2021, it was birthed to inspire others to take a chance at moving forward from their past of fear to a time when they could be the person that they had desired to be. It is my prayer that I have done that without swaying too much.

Since then, I am happy to say that I have written over 50 posts. I have leaned toward one of the phrases that Dr. Doug Chatham, a professor at Beula Heights University (seminary) used to say often. “Lord, give me a teachable Spirit.”   

As the book of Proverbs was being introduced, King Solomon listed the various intents of this collection of wise sayings. But in the midst of those purposes, he inserted this challenge, “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance” (Proverbs 1:5).

Stop being a “know it all.” Even when you know something allow the other person to impart their knowledge or opinion. There may come a time when you are on your road to failure, with all sorts of spectators around who could steer you in the way of success, but allow you to continue on your way.

Why, because no one appreciates a know it all. They may tolerate you. Most of the Worlds experts know almost everything there is to know about one thing, or species. In Beetles of the world, Maxwell Barclay and Patrice Bouchard— two of the world’s foremost beetle experts. They are entomologist, called A Coleopterist.

‘It is impossible for a man/woman to learn what he thinks he already knows (Epictetus).” Don’t underestimate the power of passion, it gives wings to a dream, makes the impossible possible, and turns obstacles into opportunities.”

If you did not do well on your last year’s resolutions, and want to a head start on your next New Year’s Resolution, make it a point to surround yourselves with positive minded people. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22)”.

We hear it all of the time, sometimes we experience it in our interactions with those who are close to us. “Perception is everything.”  It took me a long time to realize that there is a difference between being a great provider and a great gift giver.

This is the time of year when our good deeds are not always met with good thoughts from the receiver. It pays to know something about the recipient. It is important to understand and accept the fact that doing something for someone special should not depend on strings attached, and be of a personal nature.

Remember that there are exceptions to every rule. So called experts warn that these are some of the gifts that may get you in trouble with your spouse; so called make easy work gadgets, some clothing, and gift cards. That does not mean that you cannot give these things, but don’t dare called them gifts.

It does not matter if you purchase a new water heater this Christmas because your significant other likes to take hot showers, and the old water heater is just not making that possible. But do not dare call it a gift. It is for the convenience of others too.

A gift or present is an item given to someone without the expectation of payment or anything in return. An item is not a gift if that item is already owned by the one to whom it is given. In other words, you cannot put a bow on the car you bought seven years ago because it took that long to pay it off.

In keeping with the time of the year, let us remember what the Teacher taught us, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:16-18).

Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. And in the process of time, it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell (Genesis 4:3-5).

Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?” And the Lord said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to me from the ground (Genesis 4:8-10).

Jealousy and envy stem mainly from comparison. We are familiar with that feeling whether it is because someone we know, a partner or close friend pays more attention to someone else or a promotion that you wanted. Many of us have behaved poorly because of these feelings. Usually, it does not lead to murder, but it could.

The results are the same. Irresponsible behavior leads to unintended negative repercussions to self and others. Roger Martin, in his book The Responsibility Virus (2003), describes the issue at the corporate level. There are also lots of scriptures that address this dilemma.

If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:1-2). “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you (John 15:12).

So, from the very beginning of the Bible (Genesis 4:1-13) to the very end, God’s message has not changed. We are to be our brother’s/sister’s keeper demonstrated by our actions. But not as Cain treated his brother. He didn’t love Abel more than himself. That runs counter to “group think”.

Group-think, the practice of thinking or making decisions as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility. “Theres always a danger of groupthink when two leaders are so alike.” Instead of the Holy Bible, you can watch, listen or read this behavior in the daily media.