Today we have a tendency to blame technology for the majority of our communication problems. Why, because those having technical skills can sway millions of people of a narrative that may or may not be true in a matter of seconds.  And since the information is never really destroyed, someone can find it and keep it going long after the originators have gone on to another narrative.

Hearing is a sense. Listening is a skill. However, listening (not) has been the action of humans for as long as there has been written history. It has been demonstrated in the writings of poets and even scripture writers. We have a tendency to talk too much, too quickly, for whatever reason; more than we listen.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit there of” (Proverbs 18:21). The tongue can be used as a weapon to harm and destroy or as a tool to build and heal.  Today, we could add fingers (key strokes). Cunning, mean people have a tendency to use both tongue and fingers. 

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” This quote is attributed to Epictetus, a Greek philosopher who spent his youth as a slave in Rome before gaining freedom after the death of Nero, under whom he served until around 60 AD.” http://www.nordangliaedu nordangliaeducation.com.

“Understand this, my brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and,] slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man/woman does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us].” (James 1:19).

These scriptures have been very helpful for me. “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27). One of my principals reminded us that when we received an angry message from a parent, to answer it but do not send.

It has saved my marriage, friendships, and other relationships as well. I am reminded of an incident where a passenger was cursing out the porter at the bus station. When it was my turn, I asked the porter why he did not get angry. He replied, “he is going to Philadelphia, but his bags are going to Albuquerque. 

The new me would have tried to get him to go back, apologize, and give a large tip. We have to constantly remind ourselves that there are sometimes dire consequences for our negative behavior. It’s called Karma.

Proverbs 26:27 says “whoever digs a pit will fall in it, and a stone will come back on him/her who starts it rolling. “