Many of us are carrying invisible scars that others can’t see or understand. We are not deliberatly hiding them, we are unaware. Many laymen and experts say that children are the most resilient. Perhaps they are to a certain degree. More and more we are finding that it is not true. They do not stay children. Coping is not the same as healing.

Coping mechanisms may work temporarily, but coping is not a long-term solution. Healing on the other hand, means making long-term changes that allow us to thrive, rather than just barely survive. Unhealthy coping mechanisms involve behaviors that provide short-term relief but may exacerbate distress in the long run.

Examples of coping strategies are avoidance, seeking social support, drug and alcohol abuse, journaling, making to-do-list, procrastination, meditation, taking a break, and self-isolation. Substance abuse, avoidance, self-harm, and negative self-talk are among the most common examples of unhelpful coping strategies (Klonsky, 2007; Skinner et al. 2003).

In Psalm 6, David wrote of his own deep struggle. While the bible does not share the cause of his suffering, many of us can relate to his pain.  More importantly he admits that we cannot solve all of our problems ourselves and we need to reach out to an expert. In David’s case, he reached out to God.

David was in agony and deep anguish. He was worn out from groaning, and his bed was drenched with tears. In the midst of his overwhelming suffering, he cried out to God. Honestly pouring out his heart, he prayed for healing, rescue, and mercy.

He was even bold enough to ask how long. Perhaps he remembered that God said that he would never leave us or forsake us. But he also remembered in God’s timing, not David’s. Even devoted Christians get angry with God’s timing and make the mistake of walking away.

In Psalms 23 David praises God and extols His nurturing care in the midst of trials: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.”