There are seasons/times in our lives when “broken down” says it all. In such times it can be hard to know who to reach out to. To some who have it all going on, never think that it will happen to them. This includes those who follow all of the rules presented to them.

No matter where you are in life it can come out of nowhere. You receive a phone call that says things are tight and someone has to be let go. You happen to be the one chosen. It wasn’t personal, you were the last one hired.

You have not been the best Christian, but you have always tried to do the right thing. You have lived a pure life in the eyes of some. You have never been a lover of strong drink, you never took drugs, you’ve never taken advantage of anyone, you’ve been a good husband, and faithful father. This makes you exempt from misfortunes. Right?

Not so. The Father who is in heaven, makes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the just and the unjust. Wicked people, people who mock Him and even deny His existence still get to enjoy good weather, good food, the love of family, and a great many other things.

There will be a time of judgment in the future, but, until then, God graciously gives good things, even to those who hate Him. Since God is so generous with His enemies, then we should be as well.

There is a common phrase that says “Hindsight is 20/20” meaning essentially that It’s easy to know the right thing to do after something has happened, but it is hard to predict the future. 20/20 refers to and having perfect vision as these two numbers are how ophthalmologist (eye doctors) measure people’s ability to see things clearly. The Snellen chart which has been in practice since 1862 was developed by Dutch ophthalmologist Herman Snellen.

I used to be very cautious about doing things that I could not clearly predict the outcome. I think it kept me out of trouble a lot. There is something to be said about being afraid of taking chances when you are young. That is supposed to be how you learn. In hindsight I think I missed a lot of great opportunities.

My wife on the other hand is just the opposite. I guess that is what attracted me to her, other than her good looks and keen mind. I don’t mean crazy things like playing with fire. She still tells me that I think too much. My defense is that if she fails, she has me. If I fail, I don’t have anyone.

You probably know someone who is always right. It does not matter if it is the toughest football game, the trip that you got lost on, or the Viet Nam Conflict. Why, because in hindsight they have all of the facts now and can twist them around for perfection.

However, in the present they have nothing to say or can not add anything to the situation. Beware of people like this. They only come alive afterwards.

I was honorably discharged from the United States Air Force in December 1968. I started college in January under the GI Bill (military tuition).  I went to college thinking that I would major in business, make a lot of money, follow all the rules of society, and live happily ever after. I could not see myself living in the dormitory with a bunch of teenagers, many who were avoiding the draft. I was able to get a room off campus with a lady who had a son in college, and she treated me like a younger brother. She said, “I can’t remember your name, so I am going to call you Bubblegum.”

She had done well with her money. She owned a lot of property. She worked two jobs back to back and spent most of her off time at home asleep. I used her car to shop for her, fix her dinner, and pick her up from one job and take her to the next one. Her son was busy being a teenager. She had bought him a brand new gold 225 Buick.  Earlier veterans had not done so well paying their tuition and we had to pay on time and wait for reimbursement. She would advance my tuition when I needed it.

I avoided early morning classes because I had to walk a distance. One of the few days that she was not asleep, she struck up a conversation about family. I told her I hated my mother. I had been told my whole life that she tried to starve me to death and gave me away. She said, “Sometimes mothers have to make tough sacrifices. She did what she did so that five children could survive. She knew that her mother-in-law would take care of her grand-children. Where would you be now had she not done that? She did all of that for you.” I cried uncontrollable. We grew closer and I started to call her Sweet Pea. The next time I went home I asked my mother to forgive me. We grew closer than ever.

It was difficult in the beginning, but I spent most of my free time studying. I was able to do this because I was 22 years old, and there to get an education. I spent time with upper classmen to find out what they were majoring in. While doing so I met a young lady around my age who commuted to school early in the morning with her father who worked at the meat packing company. The auditorium was open for early attendees, and she would be just awakening when I got to school.  I used to listen to her talk about social work and how fulfilling it was to her. This was my first experience learning about the last, least, and the lost. I quickly forgot about making a lot of money and wanted to care for others.

When I was a child, I used to hear my grandmother say, “I forgive you, but I am not going to forget.” I never thought too much of it because she was usually talking about the same people. They were always saying they were sorry for something. Most of the time in the middle of doing it again.

When I became an adult, I never gave it too much thought. Other than trying to think carefully so I did not have to say I was sorry. I saw it as futile if you expected the person to forget it, and less sincere if you were constantly saying. It did not dawn on me that I was putting undue restraints on myself. I became afraid to try or say anything that I could not be sure of. You are going to hurt someone no matter how hard you try. Some time you might not even know it.

I ran across a book entitled, Forgive Healing The Hurts We Don’t Deserve Forget, by Lewis B Smedes. I find myself going back to it time and time again when I need the power to forgive. Mainly chapter 6. Forgiving the Invisible People. “Some people invade our lives for a tragic hour or a sad lifetime, leave us with hurting memories, and then move away where we cannot see them. Or when they hide their faces behind the masks of corporations. People become invisible when they die before we can forgive them.”     

Our Creator has lessons for us that go beyond our earthly authors. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you. If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. Bear with each other and forgive one another “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother and sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? Not seven times, but seventy-seven time. Matt 18:21-22

As a former middle grades teacher, mainly six grade males, I have had to tell them that their rights end where another person’s begin. I have even shown examples to no avail. I believe the lack of accepting this concept is the reason for many fights, even death. So I set out to find what others have said and written about it. No. I did not go to the library, I chose quorum to ask the question. I found that I did not need to ask. Others had already asked and a person named Chris Joossee had responded. I was taken in by it. I thought it should be shared.

It means they don’t occur in a vacuum, they occur in the context of interactions with others equally endowed with those same rights and obligations- and where they conflict, they must have limits.

The whole point to rights in the first place is to mediate conflict between rights-bearing actors, not to stipulate their existence in an abstract state that doesn’t model anyone else existing. If the only way we’re willing to conceive of rights is in abstract, absolute terms that fail to model the contingencies of other people also having rights, we tend to understand them in incomplete, self-serving ways.

This creates a tendency for us to relate to rights in terms of what they get us, without consideration for the responsibilities and obligations that they engender.

As a thought experiment, imagine a land of perfect freedom and natural rights, in which your liberty is absolute, nobody can stop you from exercising it. Now, imagine that there are other people out there in the same perfect land, also endowed with absolute, limitless liberty.

In this land, where everyone is perfectly free from restraint, what happens when my freedom to swing my arm has me swinging it through the space currently occupied by someone else’s nose? Is their claim to a right not to be hit in the nose compatible with my freedom to swing my arm?

If we understand the right-to-swing-my-arm in absolute, limitless terms, no. This must mean that it’s their obligation to take those punches in the face (because my right to swing my arm is sacrosanct, it’s my right). If we consider even briefly, it becomes clear that this model for rights (that I can do the thing I want without regard for consequences to others) creates a sort of tyranny for those upon whom the consequences fall.

While at Dover AFB, Delaware, I volunteered for every assignment that would take me off base. I volunteered for parasail training knowing that I could not swim, and was afraid of water. To no avail. The Army needed tail gunners for the Huey helicopter in Viet Nam. I didn’t get chosen. I volunteered to go to Viet Nam. This last one got me an appointment with the base commander.

I ironed my fatigues, with extra starch for the appointment. His office was across the base near the flight line. Too far to walk but not far enough to wait for the bus. Airman George reporting as ordered sir! “Are you some sort of mercenary? No sir, I just want to get off this base. There seems to be a suicide every month, and my barracks is next to the morgue. He said, “I got news for you airman, you are not going anywhere.”

I spent the next three years proving to him that I could get off the base. Not permanently, but a few months at a time. I went to Lajes Field, Azores for four months. I had about four hours notice and had to take a dose of about 10 shots. No one else wanted to go. The next assignment was three months to Rhein Mein AFB, Germany.

I grew up relying on others instead of the traditional family. This is just the opposite of what nature has put in place to create a healthy individual. I learned at an early age, by the grace of God to learn how to read, read good books and do it yourself books in order to navigate through life. Throughout life I searched for those people whom I could place in the position of mother, father, sister, and brother.

Everything I have done in my adult life has been done in a systematic fashion. When I graduated from high school, I knew I had to leave my birthplace. I did not see anything positive to stay. I knew I needed an education, but I did not have any money. This was in 1965, during the Vietnam Conflict. I had turned 18 and I knew I would be drafted in the Marines or the Army, so I volunteered for the United States Air Force. I did not want my life plans to be interrupted by the draft. Nor did I want to avoid my obligation.

Now it reminds me of the book of Genesis 12:1, Old Testament, Hebrew Bible, where the Lord said to Abram, “Leave your country, your kindred, and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” I can’t claim any religious epitome although it seems like I was being guided. After basic training in Texas, technical school in Illinois, and a brief time in Georgia, I ended up in Delaware. In addition to the men I worked with each day, my roommate’s family became my family. He was from Emporia, Virginia. I used to go to his house without him. His family was well liked, and his friends adopted me as their own.