My advisor helped me so very much.  She was such a giving person. She was about two years from retirement.  She was the chairwoman of the department.  One day while I was wondering where my next meal was coming from, she called me and asked if I could help her son finish remodeling a duplex apartment that she had purchased for him to live and manage.

One of the most rewarding jobs I had was without pay.  I received an internship at US Senator Bob Graham’s office.  I spoke to people from all of the world who wanted the senator to write a letter on their behalf.  I spoke with judges, lawyers, the military, and even those who could be labeled strange.  When Hurricane Andrew hit South Florida, the social worker was sent there to help his constituents cut through the red tape that prevented them from receiving assistance.

After my internship was over, I was hired in the mailroom.  In the morning I would stop and pick up 5 popular newspapers for the staff to pick out the topics that we thought the senator needed to know.  He had three offices in the state.  I got the opportunity to see at firsthand how powerful the senator’s office could be.  He only stated that his constituent was interested.     

My daughter was a senior in high school, and I was in class during the evenings.  She spent time at a local nursing home caring for the aged.  She had so much compassion towards them.  I saw in her what I desired.  With her and through her I gained what was missing in my life.  In June we both graduated.  I received a M. A. in Applied Social Science and my daughter received her high school diploma.

While in graduate school, away from the family, I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted to do with my life. My wife had always been a person of faith. I was inconsistent. I was once an agnostic. I was the master of my fate. I had fallen so low that it did not matter what I did, it would be an improvement. Despite the experiences that I had gone through God was still good.

I had memories of being 12 years old and my grand-mother taking me to church to be Baptized. The night before, she said, “You will be 12 years old tomorrow, and your sins will no longer be on me.”  I had read the New Testament several times, and knew she was referencing when Jesus was taken to Passover and was questioning the scholars in the Temple.

I Couldn’t figure out what that had in common with my age. I was a good person. I had not done any of the things that I saw in there that people had gotten punished for. So I was not afraid to be responsible for myself.

When the school term ended in Ft. Lauderdale, my wife and daughter came to join me. My daughter was now a high school senior. My wife immediately found a church. The Pastor and I had worked together. He was not a pastor then. At the appropriate time he said that he wanted to make me a deacon.  I was beginning to see that I was not mastering my fate very well.

One Sunday morning my daughter joined the church. She had not been interested in church. At least I thought. During children’s church she taught the Word. I was ashamed that my child had more faith than me. I remembered promising God that if He gave me a daughter, I would do everything I could to show him gratitude.                                                                                                                                                 

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me” (Matthew 18:3–5).

Since the beginning of time, persons of every walk of life have pondered, “What it means to be a good human being. Every living creature seeks self-gratification as a matter of survival.  Animals live primarily for self-gratification, driven by instinct and the inner workings of the food chain. One of nature’s primary laws is “eat or be eaten.” https://www.beliefnet.com.

God created our sense of pleasure, so seeking its fulfillment is not wrong until the means to do so crosses a line. Knowing exactly where that line can be tricky. But human beings were created differently from the plants or animals.

Because humanity is made in the image of God and possesses the breath of God, we have a spirit that can reason, love, and choose to be unselfish. With our spirits, we can commune with God, who is also Spirit (Romans 8:16; Revelations 3:20). We have a moral compass, and we can know right and wrong (Genesis 1:27).

There is a danger in responding to every comment we encounter on social media. Unless we keep up with what we say, to whom we say it, and why we say it, not only will we convey a rocky fellowship with those who read it, but we too will be confused, and our moral compass questioned. Some have already reached the point of no return.

Nearly 80% of Americans believe that the overall moral state of the nation is fair or poor, according to a recent Gallup poll. In addition, some overwhelmingly hold the opinion that Americans are becoming more selfish and dishonest. 77% of Americans believe the country’s overall sense of morality is getting worse.

The most important part of having moral compass is using that moral compass. “He has shown you, o man/woman, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

This precious, sweet name reveals a side of Jesus that many fail to grasp. While God is a God of wrath and judgment, He is purely and wholly love (1 John 4:8;16). God is love and everything He does is an outgrowth and an expression of His love.

To the artist, He’s the perfect portrait.

To the astronomer, He’s the bright and morning star.

To the baker, He’s the bread of life.

To the banker, He’s the hidden treasure.

To the carpenter, He’s the door.

To the doctor, He’s the Great Physician.

To the educator, He’s the Master Teacher.

To the farmer, He’s the seed of righteousness.

To the florist, He’s the lily of the valley and the rose of Sharon.

To the judge, He’s the true and faithful witness.

To the lawyer, He’s the supreme advocate.

To the philanthropist, He’s the unspeakable gift.

To the preacher, He’s the Word of God.

To the sailor, He’s the anchor that holds.

To the sinner, He’s the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.

Just the mention of His name brings peace to the troubled, comfort to the hurting, life to the dead, joy to the sad, hope for the hopeless, and glory to the saved soul.

After graduating from Florida A&M University (FAMU), I had a M.A. in Applied Social Science, but I did not have any new experiences. So, what was I to do? I still had responsibilities. My son and daughter were in college, but I still had a wife and myself to support. I decided I could learn something new through volunteerism.

I volunteered at one of the leading hospitals, in customer services. They dealt with patients who had hospital debt in the thousands and no way to repay. One of my old acquaintances who was now a regional store manager, offered me a store manager’s position. It is easy to go back to what you know. There are always retail jobs.

My first store was in a blight area that had apartments, older houses, a convention center, and an Air Force installation across the busy highway. In the middle of the parking lot was a fast food restaurant. Behind the store was a wooded area where several homeless guys lived.

My first encounter with them was when they came into the store and bought several large bottles of generic mouth wash. This was a daily buy. I was naïve.  I had no idea that they were substituting it for whisky. They got a better buzz for less money. This went on for weeks.

A new law was passed that bartenders could be sued for selling too much alcohol to a patron who was involved in an accident. I knew they would not be driving, but there was a busy four lane highway in front of the store. I felt culpable. I told them they could not make these purchases any longer. I would buy them food instead.

I used to go to work early so I could spend time with them. Each had a different story to tell.  The police would round them up monthly for a few days. One I will call Sam. He said that when he is in jail he does not think about drinking, he looks and feels great. As soon as he gets out, he starts all over.

Paul had a different story. He drove a dump truck for a living. One day at lunch he had too much to drink, had an accident and a lot of people got hurt. He lost his livelihood, his family and was left homeless.

He could live with his brother if he could follow rules. His brother has a family, and he is not going to allow coming in drunk all times a night. Each one of their friends gave the same story. The common denominator was that they could not follow the rules of their benefactor. Not every situation is as clear.

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain. (1 Cor 18:10)

It has been said that among all the animals in God’s vast creation, there is no greater friend to mankind than the dog. It doesn’t matter what you do to your dog, he/she just keeps loving you just the same.  He doesn’t care about money, titles, position or privilege. All he asks is for the privilege of being near his master. His love is unselfish and undying.

Sadly, most men and women do not experience that kind of devotion in their human friendships. As you journey through life, you will make and lose friends. It is just the way things are! Thank God for the friends you have and pray for those you don’t have any longer. But, as you travel, remember that there is a Friend who outshines all the friends you will make, or lose, along life’s way.

When we look into the Word of God, we are met with this word “friend” many times. In several of these places, the Bible gives us a definition of just what a friend really is. Perhaps you have had a friend for which you would do almost anything. Or perhaps you have been fortunate enough to have a friend that would do almost anything for you. If so, then be glad, for a friend of that degree is a rare thing!

I can honestly say that I have been fortunate enough to have a few, and still do. I can count them all on one hand. They are never too busy to be of assistance. Some have been for a season. I have been the driving force and as soon as it was no longer beneficial, neither were they. Such is life we say.

To think that those who are called the enemies of God have, for themselves, a Friend of such noble stature and quality. He is the Friend of the friendless! The word Friend occurs 139 times in the Bible. No greater love hath He, who will give His life for a friend.

We moved all over the Southeast. I helped open new “big box” retail stores. My joy came in the next move. I never realized that I did not have it that good until someone pointed it out to me. This continued until my wife got hurt on the job, we lost almost everything, and my eighteen-year-old son; challenged me to do something about my unhappiness.  No one would hire me because I did not have any other experience. I did not have God either. I was trying to do it on my own. He of little/no faith

After graduating from high school the motivation speaker/life coach tried his crafts on me. He said, “Dad, why don’t you use some of that advice you are always giving others. You have more education than most of your bosses. Yet, you are miserable and won’t do anything about it.” I had gotten in a comfort zone and could not move. He made me so angry that I cried but I would not let him see me. He was right.

On a dare the next day I called Florida A&M University and asked them what I needed to get into their graduate school.  They asked me for my GPA, and I told them that I graduated from Albany State College in 3 and a half years, with a 3.0 after being honorably discharged from the United States Air Force.  

The registrar said, “Request your records, and if they are what you say they are, you are in.” I could not wait to tell everyone that I was quitting work and I was going to graduate school. This was 1991 and I was 45 years old. Everyone other than my immediate family said that I was making a mistake quitting my job and there was no way that I was going to make it.

So, one cold morning morning I found myself on the campus of Florida A&M University in Tallahassee, Florida. Distinguished by lush foliage and massive oaks, FAMU’s main campus comprises 156 buildings spread over 422 acres atop the highest of Tallahassee’s seven hills. My son and I would be roommates for the next several months. “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”

My wife had a great relationship with my mother, even before we met but I did not know it. She knew her because her step grand-father was married to my biological mother. My wife knew more about me than I knew about myself. She still does. I was just beginning to have a relationship with my mother. One struggle at a time.

Unbeknownst to me she convinced my mother to reveal who my father was and his location. She said that the children needed to know both of their grandfathers. She had recently made amends with her father. I had no desire to know him because I was afraid of having to care. I told her that I was almost forty years old, and I did not want to deal with it. I could imagine him to be who/whatever I wanted him to be. Once I met him, I could not change it.  

He was still in the same town where he and my mother met. Where I was conceived if you will. It was less than 100 miles from where I grew up. Now I am thinking he didn’t care either. A hundred thoughts came to mind on the way there. We met and he said that he had no idea where my mother had gone. He did not know he had a child. He cried. He asked for forgiveness. Under the circumstances, I believed him. I forgave him. Man forgives with conditions, God does not.

After meeting his sisters I quickly realized that they were very much in control of him. Perhaps they did not approve of him getting involved with a widow with four children and one on the way. They had not seen each other since she left. We were going to meet again in six months. I had great expectations of what could be. I think they did too.

He did not live to make our next meet. He had been a longshoreman and drank quite a bit. I got notice of his death a week later via a message left by the police. They said that they could not get in touch with me. That was an untruth.

My daughter was devastated that her newly found grandfather died so soon after finding him.  She blamed herself. My wife had the perfect cure. We would immediately travel to take her to his grave site to say goodbye. This brought her closure. She has not mentioned anything to me since. I have thought many times, he was living for that moment to see us. I am glad that I was obedient and listened.  

I thought I was going to grow stronger in his family, and the family of my four brothers but one day my wife received an anonymous call. The caller said not to return.  They owned lots of property and I believe they thought I was after it. Many times, I wish I had gone anyway. Then other times I believe I did the right thing.

We grew up in the same little town. I was in the tenth grade, and she was in the seventh before I knew her. I used to tease her when she came into the cafeteria as some older guys do. Her face always lit up. My best friend and I passed out the milk. I heard that she really liked me, but I thought she was too young. Little did I know, we were the same age depending on which expert you talk to.

When I enlisted in the Air Force, my photo was placed in the local newspaper, and she wrote me. We wrote to each other off and on for years, but I had not taken her serious. When I was discharged, I went home to wait for college to start. I visited my friend, the guidance counselor. He told me that she was in college twenty four miles away and that he happened to be going that way the next week. When we stopped by, I was told by the house mother that she was not in but would tell her that I stopped by.

We wrote to each other and planned to meet the next week-end. By then her mother had moved to another town eighteen miles away, between our two schools. My cousin took me to see her. After seeing her after four years I was very interested in her. She still had a smile that lit up the room. “I had been looking for love in all the wrong places.” I had been in love before, but she has always loved me.

The last year of college I married my wife of 50 years. Proverbs 31 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

When my wife was pregnant, I did not wish for a boy or girl. Rather I wished that he or she be healthy. I guess this was in part due to my not liking sports. When I was growing up my grandmother said that she loved me so much that she did not favor me playing sports or swimming until I learned. Go figure. She thought I was going to get hurt or drown.

So, when other children were out playing, I chose to read. We did not have a great assortment of books in the house, because I was the only one who could read. Boy’s Life and Popular Mechanics were my favorite. Although I mixed it with gangsters, such as Al Capone. I don’t know why.

When my son was born, I had no clue about raising small children because I was never around them. I was always the child. So I talked to him using ordinary words. Such as holding his meat in escrow to get him to eat other foods. I leaned on my wife to teach me how children should act. She grew up with brothers and sisters. The way she talked about sibling rivalry; I was glad that I grew up as an only child.

One day I was repeating this riddle that I had come across. “What are little girls made of, made of, sugar and spice and everything nice. What are little boys made of, made of, snips and snails and puppy-dog tails. That’s what little boys are made of.

So he asked, “Why are little boys always made of yucky stuff.” I said, I do not know. I did not write it. I just sang it. He said, “Is that fair?” I said no, if life were fair, Rockefeller would not be so rich and us so poor. He asked, who is he? That is another story.

So this began my lot in life to teach not only him, but his sister also who came along three years later, and every student I taught, that life was not fair. I do not remember the phrase being in their vocabulary. It has been a teaching point my whole adult life. Some time you win and some time you lose. Life is negotiable.

That is not the way our Creator looks at it. He said that we should be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as He has forgiven. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up. Won’t you try it? You might like it.