Learning to trust people involves a lot of dynamics, including being trustworthy, communicating clearly, and giving people a chance to prove themselves.  I am not ashamed to admit that I have had trust issues almost my entire life. It still takes a lot of effort. I must admit that they are almost all female.  

I have grown a lot in the past fifty years. I grew up around people who did not give an ounce to being trustworthy. A few said that your word should be your bond, they did not live it. It was meant for others.

Children, I do not believe are born with trust issues. One might say, how can they. They are born totally dependent on someone. They cannot be picky. The problem is that they are not going to be babies forever. Experts say when they are about eighteen months when it kicks in.

In the Bible, Jesus said, “unless you become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew18:3). This verse appears in a passage where Jesus is answering a question from His disciples about who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Why trust issues are harmful? Trust has a number of benefits that are important for the health of your relationship as well as your own emotional well-being. Trust allows you to be vulnerable, be yourself, feel safe and secure, focus on positivity, increase closeness and intimacy, and minimize conflict.

“Trust but verify” is a phrase that means to be cautious and confirm information before accepting it. It originated from a Russian proverb, and was popularized by U S President Ronald Reagan during the Cold War.

“God helps those who help themselves” is nowhere in scripture. That might be a prerequisite for getting assistance from man/woman. Instead, God’s word teaches us to depend on Him for our daily needs. Jesus tells us, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

The more we try to minimize our sin, the more our inabilities are put on full display and the more hopeless we should feel. The simplest solution, however, is to simply admit that we are not a good person, that we are, in fact, very much evil, which ironically is where true hope begins.

“Sins of omission” refers to a sin committed by failing to do something that you should do, while “sins of commission” are sins committed by actively doing something wrong; essentially, a sin of omission is a failure to act, while a sin of commission is an active harmful action.

Omission—This means not taking action when you should, like not helping someone in need or failing to speak up against injustice.  Saying, “I’m going to pray for you” alone, is not good enough. Especially when you have the ability and the resources to ease their pain.

Commission—This refers to actively performing a wrong action, like lying, stealing, or pulling a chair out from someone knowing that they will fall and possibly get hurt.

If you notice carefully, they are equally wrong. Which is why our Lord and Savior condemns them both. Yes, it is easy for me to condemn the person who drinks, gets drunk and stays out all night. But what if I stay home, get drunk and avoid being a parent or husband? Does that make me a better person? Many would say yes, “at least you are not in the streets.”

In James 1:12-15, God does not make a distinction between a minor and a major sin like the world does. There are no big sins and little sins, but rather there are sins. Any sin in our lives, if not repented of and washed away by the blood of Jesus, will keep us from the Heavenly reward (1 John 1:7-10).

When we understand the desperation and futility of our plight, we will stop looking to ourselves for help. When we no longer hope to find any goodness within ourselves, we can finally accept that ALL goodness comes from something (or, better yet, someone outside of us), which is God.

When we deny our ability and ingenuity to bring healing, we will instead look to the Scriptures and Christ, which is where our real and actual help comes from.

No such thing as little sins, Kendall Lankford, Jan 18

Grief is the natural emotional response to a loss. It can occur after the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, loss of a job, or any other significant change in life. Common emotions associated with grief include sadness, loneliness, and shock. However, no two people handle it the same. 

Disenfranchised grief is a term coined by Dr. Kenneth J. Doka in 1989. The concept describes the fact that some forms of grief are not acknowledged on a personal or societal level in modern Eurocentric (Western) culture. People might not like how you may or may not be expressing your grief or view your loss as insignificant, and thus they may feel uncomfortable, or judgmental. This might include screaming, putting on a show, undignified to some.

This is not a conscious way of thinking for most individuals, as it is deeply engrained in our psyche. This can be extremely isolating, and push you to question the depth of your grief and the loss you’ve experienced. When my mother died, I did I not feel anything until about ten years later. I did not get a chance to have a mother child relationship with her when I was younger. Why, because I was taught to hate her for giving me away.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross describes the five stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying, 1969. It’s still the most well-known resource for understanding the grieving process. For her book, she interviewed over 200 people with terminal illnesses. Through these conversations, she identified five common stages people experience as they grapple with the realities of impending death. They may not occur in this order.

Denial. You may have difficulty accepting that a loss is real.

Anger. You may direct anger at multiple sources, including people who couldn’t save a loved one, yourself, God — or even no one in particular.

Bargaining. You may imagine reaching an agreement, so you don’t have to deal with a loss.

Depression. You may experience the complex emotions associated with depression, including emotional detachment.

Acceptance. Eventually, most people embrace the reality of loss even if the pain is still there.

There is love and hope in the scripture. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt 11:28-30 ESV).

Contentment is a matter of accepting from God what He sends because we know that  He is a good God and wants to give good gifts to His children. Therefore, we accept from God’s hand that which He gives. All that is needed He will supply. Even pain and suffering that seemingly cannot be corrected, He can redeem. In His time.

The five characteristics of contentment include the absence of envy, humility, self-discipline, a disdain for greed and corruption. The lack of contentment leads to envy and jealousy. In a society that lacks contentment, people engage in all kinds of evil acts. Greed and the strong desire for personal wealth, this is one of the negative ways and effects of the lack of contentment.

The “more is better” mentality teaches us that to be satisfied in life, we need this item or that gadget. There is also a worldly “simple living” mentality that says satisfaction comes by getting rid of stuff and living with less. While there is some biblical truth to the thinking that we should not pursue earthly goods obsessively, a simple lifestyle alone does not guarantee a contented heart.

We live in a world that breeds discontent. We are bombarded with the message that to be happy we need more things, a perfect body, a bigger house, and fewer troubles. But ultimately, the problem is the sinful human heart. We are often discontented in our jobs, our marriages, our churches, our homes, and in most areas of our lives.

This is the point that the Apostle Paul makes in Philippians 4: For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (vv. 11–13).

The fact that Paul refers to the “secret,” or “mystery,” of contentment, how-ever, indicates that contentment does not come naturally, but also that how we pursue contentment is contrary to human ways of thinking.

Jesus’ disciples struggled with contentment by being anxious and by worrying. Worrying about the future led them to being discontent. Jesus responded by teaching them, “For the gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them before you ask.”

We must define what Leadership is not before defining what is leadership? We must go back into a brief overview of historical perspectives on leadership. The leadership and health educator, Ann Downer, summed it up in her remarks in her class on leadership and management.

She stated that the theories associated with these two terms have greatly evolved over time. The initial concept of leadership, known as the Great Man Theory, asserted that leaders were born to lead and only the elite, wealthy aristocrats and mostly men were suitable to be leaders.

This placed these groups of people on a high pedestal, and perhaps greatly impacted representation and diversity—or the lack of it—within the workforce. However, this concept would never be vocalized today. This perception of leadership, especially at the senior level, might be subtly intruding our organizations and subconsciously creating bias. This leads to underrepresented groups being excluded from leadership opportunities.

Servant leadership philosophy developed by Robert Green leaf in the 1970s prioritizes people over profits. They develop, empower, and ensure the well-being of people in their organizations. This type of leadership is rooted in the idea that individual growth drives collective success. When servant leaders empower employees to grow, employees feel included and valued (Forbes Advisor).

In the gospel of Mark (New Testament), the disciples were having an argument about which one of them was the greatest. Jesus quietly sat down and reminded them that, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all” (Mark 9:35).

Then He took a child in his arms to illustrate the importance of serving others, especially the most helpless among us. He sets the base line for what greatness looks like in His kingdom. His standard is a heart willing to care for others. Jesus has promised that God’s empowering presence will be with those who choose to serve.

However, in (Luke 13:30) Jesus says, “And behold, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last,” implying that those who might seem least important in the world could be elevated by God, while those who consider themselves first might be considered last in Gods eyes; essentially warning against striving for worldly prominence and instead focusing on humility and service.

There are times when we have to endure the treatment of others who are unkind to us, but if we are striving to be true Christians, we are not to retaliate with the same treatment. Especially when it was not physical treatment. We acknowledge that sometimes words cut deeper than blows.

Growing up in my small town I used to hear this phrase used a lot. I learned later on that it was meant to treat the other person with kindness. Most times the phrase came from females who were sharing their man with another woman.

They were not doing it willingly. The wife was defenseless and this was meant to hide the hurt that was forced upon her. Often times, those who never experienced this type of hurt will say, “Why don’t they just leave?”Mothers have more to loose. Children will suffer. In a few cases women have left all. Those same women who critized will then blame her for doing so.

There are several scriptures that are to be used as examples of what Jesus taught us to do. If your enemy is hungry, give her/him food to eat; if he/she is thirsty, give them water to drink. In doing this, you will be heaping burning coals on her/his head, and the LORD will reward you.

If anyone sues you to take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. A cloak, a long, heavy robe-like coat was an Old Testament symbol of authority. For a prophet in Israel, it was a symbol of the power of God resting on him. When Elijah first met Elisha, he threw his cloak around him.

Jesus, in what we call the Sermon on the Mount, told the gathered crowd, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. ‘But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also (Matthew 5:38-39).

Even though others will fail us at times, and we are sometimes not always trustworthy, we can and should still trust people to some degree. Without trust, true relationship is impossible. It is because we know that God will never fail us that we can trust others. Our ultimate security is in Him, so we are free to trust others.

There are several people that I trust well enough to put my life in their hands. Even if the results did not come out favorably, it would not have been because of malice. The sad thing is that there is not a single male in this group. Trusting others is almost inseparable from loving others. True intimacy can only be achieved through honesty and trust.

It requires trust to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) and “spur one another toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). It takes trust to confess our sins to one another (James 5:16) and share about our needs (James 5:14; Romans 12:15). Trust is necessary in any number of human relationships, and especially for the healthy functioning of the family of Christ.

King David said, “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man/woman. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes” (Psalm 118:8-9). From King David’s experience, came the same warning (Psalm 41:19).

Instead of becoming bitter or regarding all people as inherently untrustworthy and not worth his time, he learned and taught a simple truth: sinful people will fail us, but we can always trust in God. David’s son, King Solomon, learned that lesson well and added to it, saying that it’s better to trust God than to trust our own minds (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Jesus was adamant about His followers keeping their word (Matthew 5:37). James repeated the command, “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation (James 5:12).   

Speaking of, “In God we Trust” on our money, whether to keep it on there or not, I suggest we keep it on there. It is about time that we admit that is what we have trusted all along. “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil (Timothy 6:10).

According to the Hebrew/Old Testament Bible, there were many gods worshipped, however, many acknowledged that there was only one God. The concept of who God is is a complex theological question that still varies across different beliefs and cultures. Here’s some information about God in Christian thought:

In Western Christian thought, God is often described as having three essential qualities: omniscience (all-knowing), omnipotence (all-powerful), and omnibenevolence (supremely good).

In Christian thought, God is seen as the creator and overseer of life, who saves, sustains, guides, provides for, calls, and cares for people. Additionally, the Bible describes God as everlasting, spirit, love, truth, and the Creator of the ends of earth.

In the Old Testament story of Jonah, “The Word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai saying, “Arise, go to Nineveh the great city and cry against it, for their wickedness has come up before Me but Jonah rose up to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. So he went down to Joppa, found a ship which was going to Tarshish, paid the fare and went down into it to go with them to Tarshish from the presence of God (Jonah 1:1-2).”

The sailors threw the ship’s cargo into the sea to lighten the load. But Jonah had gone down to the lowest part of the vessel, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep. Jonah was running away from the task that God had given him. Over the years, we too have had many messages of a need to change.  Unlike the Ninevites who immediately repented and changed, we seem to have gotten worse.,

The sailors on the ship, during a violent storm, were afraid and each cried out to his own god. They urged Jonah to pray to “his God” (meaning the God of the Hebrews) to calm the sea, as they believed Jonah’s disobedience was the cause of the storm; the captain specifically told Jonah to “get up and call on your God!”

What is the moral of the story of Jonah? The moral of the story of Jonah isn’t just about the consequences of showing disobedience to God, as Jonah did initially. The story shows us that God’s love, grace, and compassion extend to everyone—even the wicked Ninevites who Jonah doesn’t believe are worthy of salvation.

If you are deeply concerned about how you and your loved ones are going to cope in the year 2025, may I suggest that you pray to Jonah’s God?

Instant (or immediate) gratification is a term that refers to the temptation, and resulting tendency, to forego a future benefit to obtain a less rewarding but more immediate benefit.

Most successful people that I have talked to over the years, mentioned that they always had long-term thoughts. This is why in an interview, the interviewer will ask, “Where do you see yourself five years from now, ten years from now?

Financial planners, who have your best interest will admonish you from investing for the short term. The reason why, a comment, change of leaders, shortage of supplies, anything, can make your investments go up and down.

I have a brother-in-law who goes to the bank at least twice per week to check on his savings account. He only has a couple of hundred dollars.  One day I asked him why he checks so often. He said every time he goes it is never the same. I asked if he could afford to lose it. He said no. I told him he should go get it. He took my advice.

It’s a natural human urge to want good things and to want them NOW. It has almost certainly provided an evolutionary advantage for humans and their ancestors, as life for pre-modern humans hinged on decisions made and actions taken in the immediate far more than those intended for long-term gain.

“For there is a proper time and procedure for every delight, though a man’s/woman’s trouble is heavy upon him/her” (Eccles 8:6). Even in the stresses of life, delayed gratification must be practiced to remain under God’s authority. God wants us to do His will in His way in His timing. We seem to have a problem with that.

Why is God making me wait so long? First, He uses waiting to increase our trust in Him and loosen our perceived control. Waiting reminds us we are at the mercy of God’s timing, and we crave control, yet waiting pulls that from our grasp.