Being told to ‘act your age’ is something you might hear a lot. “Stop acting like a sixth grader.” That is what my wife used to say to me. When I became a teacher of students who were eleven- and twelve-year-old, I was fifty years old. It was like experiencing the youth that I missed. I spent eight hours a day with little contact with adults.

When you’re told to act your age, the actual definition of that is ‘to behave in a manner appropriate to someone of one’s age and not to someone younger or older.’ There is a lot of societal pressure on people to act how they have seen other people their age act.

It can be difficult to understand why someone may not be acting as mature as perhaps they should be, or why a child is mature and wise beyond their years. I once taught a student who had lived in the streets for over a year. Her mother had died and her father was in prison. Her older siblings did not have parenting skills.

In Paul’s first letter to Timothy, he exhorts him in this way: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). The old mentor wrote to his young protégé to encourage him to display a maturity beyond his years.

There are other reasons why someone may act in a childlike state or seem more mature than their age. Reasons for reverting back to childhood could relate to serious traumatic events where they revert back to acting like a child as a form of defense and protection.  

Everyone is different and different people mature at different rates and stages. It is thought that girls typically mature quicker than boys, and even then, there are girls that may seem less mature than boys.  In real life there are no ironclad norms.

Not acting your age isn’t necessarily a bad thing, unless caused by trauma. If you’ve been through a traumatic event, you may find it helpful to go to a professional therapist in order to work through this trauma and work through your feelings so that you can heal.  

You are probably acquainted with someone who dwells on one or the other. Your conversation might start out in the present, but somehow the past creeps up in the discussion. A subject that you all may have had numerous times. You might say that the person is stuck.

Unless you are of the same mindset, you might have a tendency to avoid spending a lot of time with them. I surmise that we have a tendency to seek more conversations with people who think more in the same dimensions we do. Providing we have a choice.

In a ‘nutshell’ The past serves as the foundation upon which our present is built. It shapes our beliefs, influences our behaviors, and contributes significantly to our sense of self. The present is where we actively live our lives. The future represents our hopes and aspirations.

Psychologist acknowledge that the significance of each can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life, where we learn from the past, live fully in the present, and plan thoughtfully for the future. Seeking a balance is the key to a happy life.

Also, scripture teaches that your past does not define you. In Christ, you are a new creation with old sins washed away. God calls believers to forget former things, stop dwelling on past mistakes, and focus on the new things He is doing.

In conclusion, no single dimension—past, present, or future—is inherently more important than the other. Dwelling on one, excluding the others, one can be crippling. Seeking a balance is the key to a happy life.

James Brown’s song, which he explained in his 1986 autobiography The Godfather of Soul: ‘Talking Loud and Saying Nothing’ was aimed at the people who were running their mouths but had no knowledge of what life was like for a lot of people in this country.

Like a dull knife

Just ain’t cutting

Just talking loud

Then saying nothing

People who are all talk and no action often display eight habits according to some psychologists Isabella Chase, April 9, 2025.

Procrastination-Putting off until tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes due to running out time.

Lack of follow through-Their plans never come to fruition.

Over Confidence– An inflated belief in their activities or the likelihood of positive outcomes.

Excuse making-A justification for every unfilled promise, due to lack of time, inadequate resources, or unexpected circumstances.

Fear of failure– A fear that can paralyze, causing people to retreat into the safety of words rather than risking the potential of disappointment of failure.

Perfectionism– The desire for everything to be perfect can result in never getting started because conditions are never quite right.

Inconsistent behavior– Very enthusiastic and proactive one day and lose interest the next day.

Lack of self-awareness– They may not realize the gap between their words and actions, or how their behavior affects those around them. Not understanding why others might doubt them.

However, scriptures in the Old and New Testament warns against this behavior.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 advises against speaking impulsively before God, urging reverence and thoughtfulness, because God is in heaven and humanity is on earth.

James 1:19 encourages being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, emphasizing that human ager doesn’t achieve God’s righteousness.

Matthew 12:36 warns that people will be held accountable for every careless word they speak on the day of judgement, stressing the importance on intentionality in speech.  

In the 1983 movie Trading places, Upper-Crust executive Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Akyroyd) and down-and-out hustler Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) are the subjects of a bet by successful brokers Mortimer (Don Ameche) and Randolph Dukes (Ralph Bellamy). They bet one dollar.   

An employee of the Dukes, Winthorpe is framed by the brothers for a crime he didn’t commit, with the two then installing the street-smart Valentine in his position. When Winthorpe and Valentine uncover the scheme, they set out to turn the tables on the Dukes.

In real life, very few people get the chance to turn the tables on the people who are playing the game against them. Why? Because one group has been conditioned to believe that there are other groups that are causing the problem.

Shakespeare has a lot to say about power and politics in his plays. “Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” The King in Henry IV, Part 2 (3.1.31). At a time of night when most of his subjects are asleep, the king is up and busy about his affairs.

Shakespeare’s quotes on life are as relevant to twenty-first-century audiences as they were to sixteenth-century ones. The late actor, John Candy said, “When you find something that works, you keep doing it. “

We think we’re relating to other people–but actually we’re all playing games. Forty years ago, Games People Play revolutionized our understanding of what really goes on during our most basic social interactions. More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne’s classic is as astonishing–and revealing–as it was on the day it was first published.

Explosive when it first appeared, Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original and influential popular psychology book of our time. It’s as powerful and eye-opening as ever.

Scriptures warn us about the games people play. There will be “A Day of Reckoning” where people are held accountable for their lives.

 2 Corinthians 4:2 Encourages believers to be open and truthful, refusing to “play games” or use masks, living with pure motives rather than deceit.

1 Timothy 4:8 Highlights that while physical training (like sports) has some value, godliness is far more important for this life and the next, warning against misplaced priorities.

Romans 12:2 Urges believers not to conform to worldly patterns, which includes the competitive or deceptive “games” of the world, but to be transformed by renewing their minds.

In essence, Scripture uses “games” as a metaphor for life’s challenges and disciplines, encouraging focus, rule-following, and honest living, while warning against the hollow pursuits of worldly games and chance.

Refers to the unjust application of different sets of principles for similar situations. It’s when one group is allowed more leniency or privilege, while another group is judged more harshly for the same behavior. This unequal treatment often arises from biases and can lead to unfair judgments and discrimination.

Some examples of double standards have been practiced for so long that society has on the one hand accepted them, although knowing that they are blatant, economically devastating, and has hurt generations of groups; more so than others. Even the constitution has helped.

The late R&B legend Betty Wright, 1968 stated one plainly, in Girls Can’t Do What the Guys Do:  

When you put your faith in one guy

Sometimes he’ll make you happy

Sometimes he’ll make you cry

But don’t lose your self-respect

Trying to get revenge

Cause no matter how you do it

Girls, you can’t do what the guys do, no

And still be a lady, no

The authors below, mention 15 examples of double standards, but I will only mention six:

Fathers’ vs Mothers: Fathers are praised for cooking dinner every now and then, while women are expected to do it all the time, without any praise.

Parenting: If women work outside the home while their children are growing up, they are sometimes seen as unfit mothers, as abandoning their “duties”. Men on the other hand, whether they work or not are praised for doing things that are simply expected of mothers.

Gendered Professions: A man who wants to be a nurse is ridiculed while a woman who wants to be a nurse is encouraged (and vice versa for other professions).

Sons’ vs Daughters: A father who allows his 16-year-old son to stay out until midnight but doesn’t let his daughter go out past 10 pm. Using the excuse of safety concerns.

Elites get away with it: A politician who conscripts working-class men to go to battle, but makes exceptions for the sons of the elites.

Assertive Women: Assertive women are seen as ‘bossy’ while assertiveness for men is often seen as a positive leadership trait.

Written by Dalia Yashinsky (MA, Phil) August 20, 2023   Reviewed by Chris Drew PhD).