It has been said that among all the animals in God’s vast creation, there is no greater friend to mankind than the dog. It doesn’t matter what you do to your dog, he/she just keeps loving you just the same.  He doesn’t care about money, titles, position or privilege. All he asks is for the privilege of being near his master. His love is unselfish and undying.

Sadly, most men and women do not experience that kind of devotion in their human friendships. As you journey through life, you will make and lose friends. It is just the way things are! Thank God for the friends you have and pray for those you don’t have any longer. But, as you travel, remember that there is a Friend who outshines all the friends you will make, or lose, along life’s way.

When we look into the Word of God, we are met with this word “friend” many times. In several of these places, the Bible gives us a definition of just what a friend really is. Perhaps you have had a friend for which you would do almost anything. Or perhaps you have been fortunate enough to have a friend that would do almost anything for you. If so, then be glad, for a friend of that degree is a rare thing!

I can honestly say that I have been fortunate enough to have a few, and still do. I can count them all on one hand. They are never too busy to be of assistance. Some have been for a season. I have been the driving force and as soon as it was no longer beneficial, neither were they. Such is life we say.

To think that those who are called the enemies of God have, for themselves, a Friend of such noble stature and quality. He is the Friend of the friendless! The word Friend occurs 139 times in the Bible. No greater love hath He, who will give His life for a friend.

We moved all over the Southeast. I helped open new “big box” retail stores. My joy came in the next move. I never realized that I did not have it that good until someone pointed it out to me. This continued until my wife got hurt on the job, we lost almost everything, and my eighteen-year-old son; challenged me to do something about my unhappiness.  No one would hire me because I did not have any other experience. I did not have God either. I was trying to do it on my own. He of little/no faith

After graduating from high school the motivation speaker/life coach tried his crafts on me. He said, “Dad, why don’t you use some of that advice you are always giving others. You have more education than most of your bosses. Yet, you are miserable and won’t do anything about it.” I had gotten in a comfort zone and could not move. He made me so angry that I cried but I would not let him see me. He was right.

On a dare the next day I called Florida A&M University and asked them what I needed to get into their graduate school.  They asked me for my GPA, and I told them that I graduated from Albany State College in 3 and a half years, with a 3.0 after being honorably discharged from the United States Air Force.  

The registrar said, “Request your records, and if they are what you say they are, you are in.” I could not wait to tell everyone that I was quitting work and I was going to graduate school. This was 1991 and I was 45 years old. Everyone other than my immediate family said that I was making a mistake quitting my job and there was no way that I was going to make it.

So, one cold morning morning I found myself on the campus of Florida A&M University in Tallahassee, Florida. Distinguished by lush foliage and massive oaks, FAMU’s main campus comprises 156 buildings spread over 422 acres atop the highest of Tallahassee’s seven hills. My son and I would be roommates for the next several months. “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”

My wife had a great relationship with my mother, even before we met but I did not know it. She knew her because her step grand-father was married to my biological mother. My wife knew more about me than I knew about myself. She still does. I was just beginning to have a relationship with my mother. One struggle at a time.

Unbeknownst to me she convinced my mother to reveal who my father was and his location. She said that the children needed to know both of their grandfathers. She had recently made amends with her father. I had no desire to know him because I was afraid of having to care. I told her that I was almost forty years old, and I did not want to deal with it. I could imagine him to be who/whatever I wanted him to be. Once I met him, I could not change it.  

He was still in the same town where he and my mother met. Where I was conceived if you will. It was less than 100 miles from where I grew up. Now I am thinking he didn’t care either. A hundred thoughts came to mind on the way there. We met and he said that he had no idea where my mother had gone. He did not know he had a child. He cried. He asked for forgiveness. Under the circumstances, I believed him. I forgave him. Man forgives with conditions, God does not.

After meeting his sisters I quickly realized that they were very much in control of him. Perhaps they did not approve of him getting involved with a widow with four children and one on the way. They had not seen each other since she left. We were going to meet again in six months. I had great expectations of what could be. I think they did too.

He did not live to make our next meet. He had been a longshoreman and drank quite a bit. I got notice of his death a week later via a message left by the police. They said that they could not get in touch with me. That was an untruth.

My daughter was devastated that her newly found grandfather died so soon after finding him.  She blamed herself. My wife had the perfect cure. We would immediately travel to take her to his grave site to say goodbye. This brought her closure. She has not mentioned anything to me since. I have thought many times, he was living for that moment to see us. I am glad that I was obedient and listened.  

I thought I was going to grow stronger in his family, and the family of my four brothers but one day my wife received an anonymous call. The caller said not to return.  They owned lots of property and I believe they thought I was after it. Many times, I wish I had gone anyway. Then other times I believe I did the right thing.

We grew up in the same little town. I was in the tenth grade, and she was in the seventh before I knew her. I used to tease her when she came into the cafeteria as some older guys do. Her face always lit up. My best friend and I passed out the milk. I heard that she really liked me, but I thought she was too young. Little did I know, we were the same age depending on which expert you talk to.

When I enlisted in the Air Force, my photo was placed in the local newspaper, and she wrote me. We wrote to each other off and on for years, but I had not taken her serious. When I was discharged, I went home to wait for college to start. I visited my friend, the guidance counselor. He told me that she was in college twenty four miles away and that he happened to be going that way the next week. When we stopped by, I was told by the house mother that she was not in but would tell her that I stopped by.

We wrote to each other and planned to meet the next week-end. By then her mother had moved to another town eighteen miles away, between our two schools. My cousin took me to see her. After seeing her after four years I was very interested in her. She still had a smile that lit up the room. “I had been looking for love in all the wrong places.” I had been in love before, but she has always loved me.

The last year of college I married my wife of 50 years. Proverbs 31 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

When my wife was pregnant, I did not wish for a boy or girl. Rather I wished that he or she be healthy. I guess this was in part due to my not liking sports. When I was growing up my grandmother said that she loved me so much that she did not favor me playing sports or swimming until I learned. Go figure. She thought I was going to get hurt or drown.

So, when other children were out playing, I chose to read. We did not have a great assortment of books in the house, because I was the only one who could read. Boy’s Life and Popular Mechanics were my favorite. Although I mixed it with gangsters, such as Al Capone. I don’t know why.

When my son was born, I had no clue about raising small children because I was never around them. I was always the child. So I talked to him using ordinary words. Such as holding his meat in escrow to get him to eat other foods. I leaned on my wife to teach me how children should act. She grew up with brothers and sisters. The way she talked about sibling rivalry; I was glad that I grew up as an only child.

One day I was repeating this riddle that I had come across. “What are little girls made of, made of, sugar and spice and everything nice. What are little boys made of, made of, snips and snails and puppy-dog tails. That’s what little boys are made of.

So he asked, “Why are little boys always made of yucky stuff.” I said, I do not know. I did not write it. I just sang it. He said, “Is that fair?” I said no, if life were fair, Rockefeller would not be so rich and us so poor. He asked, who is he? That is another story.

So this began my lot in life to teach not only him, but his sister also who came along three years later, and every student I taught, that life was not fair. I do not remember the phrase being in their vocabulary. It has been a teaching point my whole adult life. Some time you win and some time you lose. Life is negotiable.

That is not the way our Creator looks at it. He said that we should be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as He has forgiven. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up. Won’t you try it? You might like it.

There are seasons/times in our lives when “broken down” says it all. In such times it can be hard to know who to reach out to. To some who have it all going on, never think that it will happen to them. This includes those who follow all of the rules presented to them.

No matter where you are in life it can come out of nowhere. You receive a phone call that says things are tight and someone has to be let go. You happen to be the one chosen. It wasn’t personal, you were the last one hired.

You have not been the best Christian, but you have always tried to do the right thing. You have lived a pure life in the eyes of some. You have never been a lover of strong drink, you never took drugs, you’ve never taken advantage of anyone, you’ve been a good husband, and faithful father. This makes you exempt from misfortunes. Right?

Not so. The Father who is in heaven, makes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the just and the unjust. Wicked people, people who mock Him and even deny His existence still get to enjoy good weather, good food, the love of family, and a great many other things.

There will be a time of judgment in the future, but, until then, God graciously gives good things, even to those who hate Him. Since God is so generous with His enemies, then we should be as well.

There is a common phrase that says “Hindsight is 20/20” meaning essentially that It’s easy to know the right thing to do after something has happened, but it is hard to predict the future. 20/20 refers to and having perfect vision as these two numbers are how ophthalmologist (eye doctors) measure people’s ability to see things clearly. The Snellen chart which has been in practice since 1862 was developed by Dutch ophthalmologist Herman Snellen.

I used to be very cautious about doing things that I could not clearly predict the outcome. I think it kept me out of trouble a lot. There is something to be said about being afraid of taking chances when you are young. That is supposed to be how you learn. In hindsight I think I missed a lot of great opportunities.

My wife on the other hand is just the opposite. I guess that is what attracted me to her, other than her good looks and keen mind. I don’t mean crazy things like playing with fire. She still tells me that I think too much. My defense is that if she fails, she has me. If I fail, I don’t have anyone.

You probably know someone who is always right. It does not matter if it is the toughest football game, the trip that you got lost on, or the Viet Nam Conflict. Why, because in hindsight they have all of the facts now and can twist them around for perfection.

However, in the present they have nothing to say or can not add anything to the situation. Beware of people like this. They only come alive afterwards.

I was honorably discharged from the United States Air Force in December 1968. I started college in January under the GI Bill (military tuition).  I went to college thinking that I would major in business, make a lot of money, follow all the rules of society, and live happily ever after. I could not see myself living in the dormitory with a bunch of teenagers, many who were avoiding the draft. I was able to get a room off campus with a lady who had a son in college, and she treated me like a younger brother. She said, “I can’t remember your name, so I am going to call you Bubblegum.”

She had done well with her money. She owned a lot of property. She worked two jobs back to back and spent most of her off time at home asleep. I used her car to shop for her, fix her dinner, and pick her up from one job and take her to the next one. Her son was busy being a teenager. She had bought him a brand new gold 225 Buick.  Earlier veterans had not done so well paying their tuition and we had to pay on time and wait for reimbursement. She would advance my tuition when I needed it.

I avoided early morning classes because I had to walk a distance. One of the few days that she was not asleep, she struck up a conversation about family. I told her I hated my mother. I had been told my whole life that she tried to starve me to death and gave me away. She said, “Sometimes mothers have to make tough sacrifices. She did what she did so that five children could survive. She knew that her mother-in-law would take care of her grand-children. Where would you be now had she not done that? She did all of that for you.” I cried uncontrollable. We grew closer and I started to call her Sweet Pea. The next time I went home I asked my mother to forgive me. We grew closer than ever.

It was difficult in the beginning, but I spent most of my free time studying. I was able to do this because I was 22 years old, and there to get an education. I spent time with upper classmen to find out what they were majoring in. While doing so I met a young lady around my age who commuted to school early in the morning with her father who worked at the meat packing company. The auditorium was open for early attendees, and she would be just awakening when I got to school.  I used to listen to her talk about social work and how fulfilling it was to her. This was my first experience learning about the last, least, and the lost. I quickly forgot about making a lot of money and wanted to care for others.

When I was a child, I used to hear my grandmother say, “I forgive you, but I am not going to forget.” I never thought too much of it because she was usually talking about the same people. They were always saying they were sorry for something. Most of the time in the middle of doing it again.

When I became an adult, I never gave it too much thought. Other than trying to think carefully so I did not have to say I was sorry. I saw it as futile if you expected the person to forget it, and less sincere if you were constantly saying. It did not dawn on me that I was putting undue restraints on myself. I became afraid to try or say anything that I could not be sure of. You are going to hurt someone no matter how hard you try. Some time you might not even know it.

I ran across a book entitled, Forgive Healing The Hurts We Don’t Deserve Forget, by Lewis B Smedes. I find myself going back to it time and time again when I need the power to forgive. Mainly chapter 6. Forgiving the Invisible People. “Some people invade our lives for a tragic hour or a sad lifetime, leave us with hurting memories, and then move away where we cannot see them. Or when they hide their faces behind the masks of corporations. People become invisible when they die before we can forgive them.”     

Our Creator has lessons for us that go beyond our earthly authors. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you. If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. Bear with each other and forgive one another “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother and sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? Not seven times, but seventy-seven time. Matt 18:21-22

As a former middle grades teacher, mainly six grade males, I have had to tell them that their rights end where another person’s begin. I have even shown examples to no avail. I believe the lack of accepting this concept is the reason for many fights, even death. So I set out to find what others have said and written about it. No. I did not go to the library, I chose quorum to ask the question. I found that I did not need to ask. Others had already asked and a person named Chris Joossee had responded. I was taken in by it. I thought it should be shared.

It means they don’t occur in a vacuum, they occur in the context of interactions with others equally endowed with those same rights and obligations- and where they conflict, they must have limits.

The whole point to rights in the first place is to mediate conflict between rights-bearing actors, not to stipulate their existence in an abstract state that doesn’t model anyone else existing. If the only way we’re willing to conceive of rights is in abstract, absolute terms that fail to model the contingencies of other people also having rights, we tend to understand them in incomplete, self-serving ways.

This creates a tendency for us to relate to rights in terms of what they get us, without consideration for the responsibilities and obligations that they engender.

As a thought experiment, imagine a land of perfect freedom and natural rights, in which your liberty is absolute, nobody can stop you from exercising it. Now, imagine that there are other people out there in the same perfect land, also endowed with absolute, limitless liberty.

In this land, where everyone is perfectly free from restraint, what happens when my freedom to swing my arm has me swinging it through the space currently occupied by someone else’s nose? Is their claim to a right not to be hit in the nose compatible with my freedom to swing my arm?

If we understand the right-to-swing-my-arm in absolute, limitless terms, no. This must mean that it’s their obligation to take those punches in the face (because my right to swing my arm is sacrosanct, it’s my right). If we consider even briefly, it becomes clear that this model for rights (that I can do the thing I want without regard for consequences to others) creates a sort of tyranny for those upon whom the consequences fall.