“Do You Love Me” is a rhythm and blues song recorded by the Contours in 1962. Written and produced by Motown Records owner Berry Gordy Jr., it appeared twice on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, reaching number three in 1962 and eleven in 1988.

The simple and accepted definition of love is that—love is a complex emotion and behavior that can include feelings of intimacy, passion, and commitment. It can also involve care, closeness, attraction protectiveness, affection, and trust.

In English we have one word to express all kinds of love, in Greek there are four different words for love.

Eros refers to the love found in romantic relationships, passion and intimacy. The word itself is not found in the New Testament. However, the concept of physical love is expressed in the context of marriage and affirmed in the New Testament (1 Cor 7:5).

Phileo means warm affection or friendship. Philo was commonly used with reference to close friends or brothers. It was used in Matthew 10:37 to indicate love for father and mother or son and daughter. Jesus’s love for his friend Lazarus.

Storge refers to the love between family members. It’s a strong bond shared by parents, children, and those close enough to be considered family. It is a protective love that can withstand hardships and trials.

Agape is the sacrificial, unconditional love of God. In the New Testament, agape is the highest form of love. But outside of the New Testament the word was rarely used. Agape is the word used in John 3:16, “God so love the world that He gave His only begotten son”.

The Israelites questioned how much God loved them because of their time in captivity in Babylon. But that captivity was His correction for their continued rebellion against Him. Malachi, the prophet’s opening words from God were, I have loved you” (Malachi 1:2). Isreal replied skeptically, inquiring as to how He has loved them. He reminded them how He had chosen them over the Edomites.

Lucy Van Pelt: “I’m the kind of person who is kind of hard to know, I guess. My personality doesn’t fit right on the surface. The real me is deep. But I’m well worth all the time it takes to understand me. In other words, to know me is to love me.” Peanuts character.

We all go through difficult seasons in life, when we question God’s love for us during them. Many have stopped asking where is God, rather, “Does God love me?

The psychological tendency for people to overestimate their ability to influence or control events, even when the outcome is largely determined by chance. Essentially, it’s a false feeling of being in control of something beyond one’s influence.

At its core, manipulation is another form of lying. When someone speaks falsely for the purpose of deception, he/she is being manipulative. As of late that seems to be the norm. You often hear a portion of a group of people lying and others in the same group knowingly joining or remaining silent.

Those who call themselves Christians are not exempt. The Bible has much to say about manipulation. Through examples, parables, principles, and direct commands, Scripture warns us against manipulating others.

Just as important, we should not allow ourselves to be manipulated. Jesus said, “Be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves’ (Matthew 10:16). “Shrewd as snakes”—means don’t be taken advantage of; “innocent as doves”—don’t manipulate others.

It should go without saying that Christians are not to engage in manipulation or take advantage of others in any way. Paul reminds us, “Each of us must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to our neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (Ephesians 4:5).

The Apostle Paul says, “But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:25).

“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers (and sisters) for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (James 3:1).   Believe it or not, teachers have a lot of influence. Both good and bad.

The opening stanza of the Serenity Prayer is as wise as it is hope—filled: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

It is not in the Bible. It is attributed to Karl Paul Reinhold Niebuhr. He was an American Reformed theologian, ethicist, commentator on politics, and public affairs, and a professor at Union Theological Seminary for more than 30 years.

Jesus also warned, “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves” (Matthew 7:15).

Learning to trust people involves a lot of dynamics, including being trustworthy, communicating clearly, and giving people a chance to prove themselves.  I am not ashamed to admit that I have had trust issues almost my entire life. It still takes a lot of effort. I must admit that they are almost all female.  

I have grown a lot in the past fifty years. I grew up around people who did not give an ounce to being trustworthy. A few said that your word should be your bond, they did not live it. It was meant for others.

Children, I do not believe are born with trust issues. One might say, how can they. They are born totally dependent on someone. They cannot be picky. The problem is that they are not going to be babies forever. Experts say when they are about eighteen months when it kicks in.

In the Bible, Jesus said, “unless you become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew18:3). This verse appears in a passage where Jesus is answering a question from His disciples about who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Why trust issues are harmful? Trust has a number of benefits that are important for the health of your relationship as well as your own emotional well-being. Trust allows you to be vulnerable, be yourself, feel safe and secure, focus on positivity, increase closeness and intimacy, and minimize conflict.

“Trust but verify” is a phrase that means to be cautious and confirm information before accepting it. It originated from a Russian proverb, and was popularized by U S President Ronald Reagan during the Cold War.

“God helps those who help themselves” is nowhere in scripture. That might be a prerequisite for getting assistance from man/woman. Instead, God’s word teaches us to depend on Him for our daily needs. Jesus tells us, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

The more we try to minimize our sin, the more our inabilities are put on full display and the more hopeless we should feel. The simplest solution, however, is to simply admit that we are not a good person, that we are, in fact, very much evil, which ironically is where true hope begins.

“Sins of omission” refers to a sin committed by failing to do something that you should do, while “sins of commission” are sins committed by actively doing something wrong; essentially, a sin of omission is a failure to act, while a sin of commission is an active harmful action.

Omission—This means not taking action when you should, like not helping someone in need or failing to speak up against injustice.  Saying, “I’m going to pray for you” alone, is not good enough. Especially when you have the ability and the resources to ease their pain.

Commission—This refers to actively performing a wrong action, like lying, stealing, or pulling a chair out from someone knowing that they will fall and possibly get hurt.

If you notice carefully, they are equally wrong. Which is why our Lord and Savior condemns them both. Yes, it is easy for me to condemn the person who drinks, gets drunk and stays out all night. But what if I stay home, get drunk and avoid being a parent or husband? Does that make me a better person? Many would say yes, “at least you are not in the streets.”

In James 1:12-15, God does not make a distinction between a minor and a major sin like the world does. There are no big sins and little sins, but rather there are sins. Any sin in our lives, if not repented of and washed away by the blood of Jesus, will keep us from the Heavenly reward (1 John 1:7-10).

When we understand the desperation and futility of our plight, we will stop looking to ourselves for help. When we no longer hope to find any goodness within ourselves, we can finally accept that ALL goodness comes from something (or, better yet, someone outside of us), which is God.

When we deny our ability and ingenuity to bring healing, we will instead look to the Scriptures and Christ, which is where our real and actual help comes from.

No such thing as little sins, Kendall Lankford, Jan 18

Grief is the natural emotional response to a loss. It can occur after the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, loss of a job, or any other significant change in life. Common emotions associated with grief include sadness, loneliness, and shock. However, no two people handle it the same. 

Disenfranchised grief is a term coined by Dr. Kenneth J. Doka in 1989. The concept describes the fact that some forms of grief are not acknowledged on a personal or societal level in modern Eurocentric (Western) culture. People might not like how you may or may not be expressing your grief or view your loss as insignificant, and thus they may feel uncomfortable, or judgmental. This might include screaming, putting on a show, undignified to some.

This is not a conscious way of thinking for most individuals, as it is deeply engrained in our psyche. This can be extremely isolating, and push you to question the depth of your grief and the loss you’ve experienced. When my mother died, I did I not feel anything until about ten years later. I did not get a chance to have a mother child relationship with her when I was younger. Why, because I was taught to hate her for giving me away.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross describes the five stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying, 1969. It’s still the most well-known resource for understanding the grieving process. For her book, she interviewed over 200 people with terminal illnesses. Through these conversations, she identified five common stages people experience as they grapple with the realities of impending death. They may not occur in this order.

Denial. You may have difficulty accepting that a loss is real.

Anger. You may direct anger at multiple sources, including people who couldn’t save a loved one, yourself, God — or even no one in particular.

Bargaining. You may imagine reaching an agreement, so you don’t have to deal with a loss.

Depression. You may experience the complex emotions associated with depression, including emotional detachment.

Acceptance. Eventually, most people embrace the reality of loss even if the pain is still there.

There is love and hope in the scripture. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt 11:28-30 ESV).

Contentment is a matter of accepting from God what He sends because we know that  He is a good God and wants to give good gifts to His children. Therefore, we accept from God’s hand that which He gives. All that is needed He will supply. Even pain and suffering that seemingly cannot be corrected, He can redeem. In His time.

The five characteristics of contentment include the absence of envy, humility, self-discipline, a disdain for greed and corruption. The lack of contentment leads to envy and jealousy. In a society that lacks contentment, people engage in all kinds of evil acts. Greed and the strong desire for personal wealth, this is one of the negative ways and effects of the lack of contentment.

The “more is better” mentality teaches us that to be satisfied in life, we need this item or that gadget. There is also a worldly “simple living” mentality that says satisfaction comes by getting rid of stuff and living with less. While there is some biblical truth to the thinking that we should not pursue earthly goods obsessively, a simple lifestyle alone does not guarantee a contented heart.

We live in a world that breeds discontent. We are bombarded with the message that to be happy we need more things, a perfect body, a bigger house, and fewer troubles. But ultimately, the problem is the sinful human heart. We are often discontented in our jobs, our marriages, our churches, our homes, and in most areas of our lives.

This is the point that the Apostle Paul makes in Philippians 4: For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (vv. 11–13).

The fact that Paul refers to the “secret,” or “mystery,” of contentment, how-ever, indicates that contentment does not come naturally, but also that how we pursue contentment is contrary to human ways of thinking.

Jesus’ disciples struggled with contentment by being anxious and by worrying. Worrying about the future led them to being discontent. Jesus responded by teaching them, “For the gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them before you ask.”

We must define what Leadership is not before defining what is leadership? We must go back into a brief overview of historical perspectives on leadership. The leadership and health educator, Ann Downer, summed it up in her remarks in her class on leadership and management.

She stated that the theories associated with these two terms have greatly evolved over time. The initial concept of leadership, known as the Great Man Theory, asserted that leaders were born to lead and only the elite, wealthy aristocrats and mostly men were suitable to be leaders.

This placed these groups of people on a high pedestal, and perhaps greatly impacted representation and diversity—or the lack of it—within the workforce. However, this concept would never be vocalized today. This perception of leadership, especially at the senior level, might be subtly intruding our organizations and subconsciously creating bias. This leads to underrepresented groups being excluded from leadership opportunities.

Servant leadership philosophy developed by Robert Green leaf in the 1970s prioritizes people over profits. They develop, empower, and ensure the well-being of people in their organizations. This type of leadership is rooted in the idea that individual growth drives collective success. When servant leaders empower employees to grow, employees feel included and valued (Forbes Advisor).

In the gospel of Mark (New Testament), the disciples were having an argument about which one of them was the greatest. Jesus quietly sat down and reminded them that, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all” (Mark 9:35).

Then He took a child in his arms to illustrate the importance of serving others, especially the most helpless among us. He sets the base line for what greatness looks like in His kingdom. His standard is a heart willing to care for others. Jesus has promised that God’s empowering presence will be with those who choose to serve.

However, in (Luke 13:30) Jesus says, “And behold, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last,” implying that those who might seem least important in the world could be elevated by God, while those who consider themselves first might be considered last in Gods eyes; essentially warning against striving for worldly prominence and instead focusing on humility and service.

There are times when we have to endure the treatment of others who are unkind to us, but if we are striving to be true Christians, we are not to retaliate with the same treatment. Especially when it was not physical treatment. We acknowledge that sometimes words cut deeper than blows.

Growing up in my small town I used to hear this phrase used a lot. I learned later on that it was meant to treat the other person with kindness. Most times the phrase came from females who were sharing their man with another woman.

They were not doing it willingly. The wife was defenseless and this was meant to hide the hurt that was forced upon her. Often times, those who never experienced this type of hurt will say, “Why don’t they just leave?”Mothers have more to loose. Children will suffer. In a few cases women have left all. Those same women who critized will then blame her for doing so.

There are several scriptures that are to be used as examples of what Jesus taught us to do. If your enemy is hungry, give her/him food to eat; if he/she is thirsty, give them water to drink. In doing this, you will be heaping burning coals on her/his head, and the LORD will reward you.

If anyone sues you to take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. A cloak, a long, heavy robe-like coat was an Old Testament symbol of authority. For a prophet in Israel, it was a symbol of the power of God resting on him. When Elijah first met Elisha, he threw his cloak around him.

Jesus, in what we call the Sermon on the Mount, told the gathered crowd, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. ‘But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also (Matthew 5:38-39).