There is not a single person, including myself, who has not had to deal with disappointment at one time or another. Some more than once or twice. However, unpleasant as disappointments may be, we can always learn something from them.

Many people successfully work through their disappointments. They somehow, have the willpower to pause, regroup, take stock of what has happened to them, learn from the incident, and move on. They come out of such disappointments stronger.

Some people seek to avoid disappointment by turning into underachievers. They set the bar low and avoid taking risks, to prevent themselves or others from being disappointed. Their strategy is not to have high expectations about anything. This could lead to a mediocre and unfulfilled life.

Others, follow a very different path, seek to avoid disappointment by becoming overachievers. Although they tell themselves that their expectations of perfection are appropriate and realistic, the bar can be set too high to ever make whatever they want to achieve attainable.

Also, there are people with a more balanced developmental history. Their parents didn’t try to be perfect, and didn’t expect their children to be perfect. By being “good enough” parents, they created a secure base for their children.

These children feel secure in their relationships, supported rather than controlled, and are able to play, explore, and learn, thereby acquiring the inner strength to cope constructively with the inevitable setbacks that will come their way in their journey through life.

Disappointment is not meant to destroy us. If taken in stride, it can strengthen us and make us better. In spite of its devastating emotional impact, we may even consider encounters with disappointment as journeys toward greater insight and wisdom. This is what the New Testament Scripture says about it.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance (James 1:1-3). Trusting God through our trials pushes us toward the Christ-like maturity of trusting God more, and more deeply, and with greater endurance (James 1:12).